


The Other Shoe

by kethni



Category: Veep (TV)
Genre: F/M, Insecurity, request
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 02:59:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10710762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kethni/pseuds/kethni
Summary: He hated it. The voice in the back of his mind. The pit in his stomach when she didn’t answer a text. The panic when she cancelled plans. Was this it? Was this the day, the hour, the minute, when reality came crashing back?





	The Other Shoe

**Author's Note:**

> For crazymaryt - with thanks for the request.

 

It bothered him more than it bothered her. No. that was inaccurate. It irritated her. It did far worse to him. He knew it was irritating. He tried not to do it. The more he tried not to do it, the more compulsive it seemed to be. It was an itch that never stopped.

Sue had set up an automatic response on her phone. Then, a few hours later, she had asked one of IT support staff to show her how to vary the responses. Kent was no fool. It had only taken three “can’t talk now, what’s wrong?” responses for him to realise what she’d done.

Sue looked up as the door to Selina’s office opened. Selina came out, flanked by Ben and Kent, as Gary and Dan brought up the rear.

Kent looked at her, as he passed her desk. No smile. Not in the office.

Sue didn’t need a smile. She didn’t need texts, or emails, or Whatsapp messages. Dinner a couple of times a week. Sex a little more often, and to be listened to on the extremely rare occasions when she needed to vent. Those were Sue’s requirements. They never varied. Many of her former partners had struggled with this, either because they wanted much more or, somehow, because they wanted even less. Kent was the only one she knew of who blamed himself for wanting more.

They went to dinner at a local Italian restaurant. Sue liked going out once a month or so, to see and to be seen. The rest of the time she was quite happy to have home cooked meals or takeout. She had particularly enjoyed the picnic that Kent had taken her on. She saw the care with which he had chosen the foods that she particularly liked and a packed the picnic. She saw the thoughtfulness with which he had selected the bottles of wine and found the perfect place to sit. That was more meaningful to her than text messages. She needed no reassurance of his interest and affection.

‘I... oh... I was out at the weekend and I saw... it’s just a little. It’s nothing really...’ He slid the box across the table.

‘I didn’t get you anything,’ Sue said.

He shook his head. ‘No, no, no.’

‘It’s not for an occasion?’ Sue asked.

‘Occasions are often contrived,’ he said. ‘Imposed by societal pressures.’

Sue opened the little package. A simple but elegant bracelet. She examined it closely.

‘Something wrong?’ he asked.

‘No.’ She was surprised, slightly, that it wasn’t inscribed. He had bought her unexpected gifts twice before: a silk scarf, and a pair of earrings. Some accessories screamed for attention but the gifts that Kent bought coughed politely and muttered, ‘I have a lover and he bought me this.’ They spoke discretely.

But they spoke, all the same.

‘It’s beautiful,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’

Now he smiled. It was tinged with anxiety and unease.

Sue put her hand over his. ‘Stop worrying.’

‘I’m not,’ he protested. He squared his shoulders. ‘I’m not.’

‘We’re in a nice restaurant, having a nice meal,’ she said. ‘I am not running off to sleep with someone else.’

Kent winced. ‘I know you don’t do that.’

‘Good.’

‘I’m not jealous,’ he said quietly. ‘I know you wouldn’t cheat. I don’t think you’re looking around for someone else.’

‘Then straighten up, smile at me properly, and enjoy our dinner,’ she said. ‘Afterwards there will be sex.’ She gave him a look. ‘With you.’

His smile was mischievous. ‘Oh good. I was wondering.’

Sue raised an eyebrow. ‘Don’t make me change my mind.’

‘You’re grumpy tonight.’ He stroked the back of her hand. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I do not require solutions,’ she said.

‘Understood.’

‘Or suggestions that I am overreacting.’

‘Do I do that?’ he asked.

She thought about it. ‘Not yet. But this works best if ground rules are clear.’

Kent nodded. ‘Listen and ask questions. No solutions or suggestions.’

‘Yes. That would perfect.’

He nodded. ‘Right. That’s incredibly frustrating.’

Sue swallowed a mouthful of food. ‘Why?’

‘Because... because I want to help you when you have a problem. I want to fix it, and since I cannot do that I want to help you fix it.’

‘You are helping by listening,’ she said. ‘I’m not a damsel in distress. I don’t need to be rescued.’

He leaned closer. ‘Would it kill you to be rescued, just once?’

She kissed him. ‘You first.’

***

He hated it. The voice in the back of his mind. The pit in his stomach when she didn’t answer a text. The panic when she cancelled plans. Was this it? Was this the day, the hour, the minute, when reality came crashing back? They had been dating, properly dating, for just over eleven weeks. Longer than he had expected. He wasn’t charming, charismatic, or witty. He didn’t amuse. He wasn’t young.

He had a reasonable, and important job. He was well paid. It was true that there were women who would share his life and his bed, if he would share his bank account. He shuddered at the thought. He could talk to Sue. They liked some of the same things. She was a vibrant, complex, and exciting woman. He’d known that she was out of his league. He hadn’t expected her to respond to his overtures. He knew they were... less graceful than he would have liked. If flirtation was a dance, then Kent spent most of his life sat down and watching.

Now he found himself waiting for her to realise that she had made a mistake. He was trying to enjoy the relationship while he still had it. Trying, but rarely succeeding. Every time he found himself relaxing, each time he watched Sue sleeping, every time he felt her skin against his, he was reminded that this was temporary.

He would have hoped that maturity would have given him the ability to regard the end with a calm resignation. Far from it. He found himself clutching desperately, like a man try to grasp the air.

He hated it. He hated seeing the irritation building in her and knowing that it was entirely his own fault. He could see it and he couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t stop himself, and that was... disconcerting. It had happened in the past, to a far lesser degree. He had generally managed to avoid humiliating himself. Now it seemed to be creeping ever closer, inescapable, and undeniable.  

He was having trouble sleeping. Next to him, Sue rolled onto her back. She was moaning softly. Her face was twisted in unhappiness and fear.

Kent squeezed her shoulder. ‘Sue? Sue.’

Her eyes snapped open. She stared at him.

‘You were having a bad dream,’ he said.

She let out a breath. ‘You let the snake get me!’

‘What?’ Kent asked.

She sat up. ‘You let a boa constrictor get around me. It was squeezing. _Squeezing_. You were there and you wouldn’t help.’

Kent shook his head. ‘Sue, it was a nightmare.’ He put his hand to her face.

She pushed his hand away. ‘Don’t touch me!’

Kent grabbed the tissues as she started to cry. ‘It’s okay. It was a nightmare.’

She leaned against him, and let him put his arms around her.

Kent kissed her hair. ‘It’s okay. It’s okay. You’ll go back to sleep soon and you’ll forget all about this.’

‘You didn’t help,’ she whispered.

Kent tipped up her face. ‘Sue, if you were in danger I wouldn’t hesitate.’

***

She was gone when he woke up. His stomach clenched. She normally waited. Or woke him up to say goodbye. She couldn’t have still been upset. Not Sue. Not logical, rational, emotionally controlled Sue.

Maybe this was it. Maybe she’d woken up and had a moment of clarity. Seen the man lying next to her and realised she could do better. Realised not only that she was wasting her time, but that he was crushing the life out of her. Snakes. He knew what that was about. His pathetic, feeble insecurity ruining everything.

He worked with Sue. He’d have to go to work and see her. See her, knowing she was going to coolly and calmly tell him that everything was over. He’d have to go to work and see her each day. See her and know that she hated him now. See her and remember her touch, the touch he would never feel again.

Kent got up. Got showered. Brushed his teeth. Relieved himself. Vomited in the toilet. He literally made himself sick. There was a kind of dark humour there. There were times when he understood Ben resorting to the kind of mordant “wit” he used. Didn’t agree, but understood.

Kent cleaned up. Did some yoga but couldn’t concentrate.

Her favourite pen was on the floor. When had she been writing? Perhaps it had fallen out her bag. It wasn’t like her to lose things. Sue was very controlled. Very contained. Nothing escaped her. Nothing really touched her. She never asked him where he’d been or what he’d been doing. She wasn’t interested in his previous relationships or friendships with female colleagues.

He would have been happy for her to do any or all of those things. To have moved a little closer when he was talking to other women. To brush lint off his suit or neaten his hair. Something, anything to claim him. To show he wasn’t simply a kind of mobile accessory. A boyfriend because all of her friends had one. A little jealousy. A little possessiveness. They would have been better than near-indifference.

‘Stop,’ Kent said aloud. He knew what he was doing. He was overthinking. Sue had gone home without saying goodbye. That was all. She hadn’t parted ways with him, yet. He was building up a head of steam before the engine even reached the tracks.

Right.

Sure.

He forced himself to take a breath and release it slowly. He would be dignified. Gracious. He was going to do nothing to make her relieved to end their brief courtship.

He threw up again.

* * *

He got to work early and hid in his office. That way he didn’t have to walk past her coming. Just going out. And whenever Selina wanted to see him.

He jumped when Sue threw open the door.

‘What’s wrong with your cell?’ she asked.

Kent stared at her blankly. Sue rolled her eyes and picked his cell up from his desk. She scowled.

‘You have bars,’ she said.

‘Yes?’

Sue thrust the cell at him. ‘You have normally texted me twenty-three times by now. That’s the actual amount of times you text me in this time frame.’

‘You left,’ Kent said.

Sue pursed her lips. ‘What?’

‘This morning you left before I woke up,’ he said, keeping his voice low.

‘And?’

Kent licked his lips. ‘You didn’t say goodbye,’ he did. ‘Last night you had a nightmare about me hurting you, refusing to help you when you were in danger, and this morning I found you had left without saying anything.’

Sue pursed her lips. ‘You don’t remember. I woke you up. I said goodbye. You fell asleep as I left.’

Kent looked away. ‘Oh. I... I don’t recall that.’

‘You’re an idiot,’ she said.

He winced. ‘Apologies.’

‘I was worried,’ she said. ‘You text me constantly. Or you call. Or you do something else.’ She narrowed her eyes. ‘What I am I supposed to think if you suddenly do nothing?’

Kent clasped his hands together. ‘That I’ve managed to restrain myself?’

‘This isn’t funny,’ she said coldly.

‘Restraining myself is a joke to you?’ Kent asked.

Sue released a tiny sigh. ‘No.’

‘Then why say it?’

She folded her arms. ‘When you’re very unhappy you sometimes resort to humour to deflect from that.’

‘Not _very_ unhappy,’ he said quietly.

‘You are a man of very regular habits. I was concerned that you were ill or injured.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Kent said quietly. ‘I... I thought you had decided to part with me. I didn’t want to make the situation worse or embarrass myself.’

Sue narrowed her eyes. ‘Based on nothing, you decided that I had ended our relationship and, rather than simply ask me, you initiated a communications blackout.’

Kent felt himself reddening. ‘I had an excruciating morning. I don’t need to be chastised.’

‘You’re an idiot,’ she said.

‘You said that already.’

‘You’re twice as much of an idiot as I believed.’

‘There’s no need to be abusive,’ he said quietly.

Sue walked around his desk and sat on the edge opposite him. ‘When I thought that your behaviour only reflected your own insecurity I could accept it. If you genuinely think I would leave you because I had a bad dream, then your opinion of me is so low as to be entirely unacceptable.’

Kent felt the blood drain from his face. ‘No. I... I’ve been waiting for you to realise and I thought that it had happened.’

Sue tilted her head. ‘Realise what?’

‘That you can do better,’ he said. ‘That you don’t need to tolerate my dependency.’

‘I don’t _need_ to,’ Sue said. ‘I’m not dating you because I’m compelled to. That would be truly nightmarish.’

Kent bit his lower lip. ‘You’re going to call me an idiot again, aren’t you?’

‘I feel I have exhausted that linguistic avenue,’ she said.

‘Ah.’

Sue put her hand to his cheek. She kissed him gently on the lips. ‘Don’t frighten me that way,’ she said. ‘And don’t make wild assumptions.’

‘No. I’ll try not to.’

‘Why are you smiling?’ she asked suspiciously.

‘You’re not leaving me,’ he said. ‘And you were worried about me.’

Sue stood up. ‘That’s a bad thing,’ she said severely.

Kent raised his hands in supplication. ‘I merely meant that I didn’t think you would worry about me. You’re by no means a woman given to anxiety.’

‘It pleases you that I display anxiety?’ she asked acidly.

‘It’s nice that you care,’ he said quietly.

Sue frowned. ‘You think that I don’t care? What would ever persuade you to believe such arrant nonsense?’

He was going to answer. He was going to defend himself.

He saw the tiny tremor in her lips. He heard the catch in her voice.

‘I’m sorry,’ Kent said. ‘You’re right. I apologise for making you worry. It won’t happen again.’

‘See that it doesn’t.’ Sue moved away but then turned back. She narrowed her eyes and then reached out to neaten his hair. ‘Don’t let me hear you say that I can do better. Insulting yourself insults me.’ She kissed him. ‘And we both know that it isn’t true.’


End file.
